Monday, March 12, 2012

Married Monograms

A question that we are often asked: "Can we use a combination of the bride and groom's first initials and the groom's last name initial on our wedding invitations?" In other words, if the bride's first name is Sarah, and the groom's first name is Gregory, and his last name is Paulson, is it proper to use the monogram below on the invitations?
In a word, no - not according to any of the respected authors of etiquette books and not according to the etiquette experts at any of the well-respected invitation companies or stationery stores that I know of. Since you are not married at the time the wedding invitations are mailed, it isn't correct form to combine your names into a married monogram.
With that said, etiquette is constantly evolving, and it evolves much faster now that ideas and thoughts are shared on the internet as soon as you can think them up. There are independent designers who are showing really cute invitations on the internet with the combined monogram. So if you have your heart set on a combined monogram, it is definitely out there being shown as an option. In our store, when a bride wants to use it, we are explaining the etiquette rule and suggesting that they get some opinions from their "significant wedding group" and move forward only if everyone is comfortable with bending the rules, because someone is sure to point out to you that the monogram should have been just the bride's initials before the wedding.
The first time we recommend using the combined married monogram is on the wedding program - you go into the ceremony single but come out married, so that seems a proper place to introduce it. Then carry through with the married monogram on the menu card, seating chart, reception napkins and thank you notes.
If you want to use a form of monogram, but not the married combination, on the wedding invitation, consider using your first initials only - no last name. There are some absolutely beautiful versions of two initials available. The invitations below show examples of both traditional and very contemporary styles of combined intitials - just a couple samples of the hundred ways to do it.
invitation from Dauphine Press

invitation from William Arthur
invitation from Crane & Co
invitation from Crane

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